Monday, May 23, 2005
+ Sad again... +
Can't find job...
Is it that I have not sent enough resumes or are my resumes ineffective?? No appointment for interviews... no emails nothing!!!
My confidence level is juz going down n down n with it my expectations and aspirations...
I feel like the 4 yrs in sch did nothign for me.. wasted.. completely...
Maybe I'd feel better tinking the job for me is not open yet... still in the black hole... waiting to emerge n find me...
Yah wait for job to find me... dream on... dream dream dream....
But really I shld take things easy... n not be stuck w someting I'll hate... hmm....
Is it me who dunno wat I wan or is there nothing THat I wan??
I hope it's the latter but I tink it's the 1st... so bad so bad.... so all those career talks maybe they mean somethng... =P
Emotional ctrl... good or bad.... I really dunno... sometimes really appropriate to juz not say a thing.. sometimes really feel like pouring all out.. n to whom is the next qn n the next is for wat....
If saying something only makes the burden heavier and no effect on anyting... wat's really the purpose???
sometimes there is really no need for tok... But I juz feel it's gd to say... sometimes there are some qn that i know i dun wan the answer... but I'll still ask... for wat?? I dunno...
Life is one huge messy dilemma... Filled with internal struggle, covered by the calm surface....
Does others feel this way or is it juz me.... I am in dilemma over almost anything... tink I am juz a indecisive idiot.. not really of much use to this world... hmm... I've been trying to find my values.. my worth.. my purpose.. my reason... for being alive... none haf I found... or maybe tt's my purpose n reason... to find n discover my purpose n reason....
Maybe that is juz an excuse of a person who dunno herself well... Maybe there is no predesignated reason... I am suppose to decide on that and carry it out... decide on wat I wan n try to get it.. be daring n free n bold n straightforward... take some risk....
All my life so far haf been quite smooth sailing coz I always take the safe route... maybe this time I shld take one tt though I tink tt it maynot work... I still take....maybe it'll lead to something different???
Vitamint_D @ 10:11 PM
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